As a former CPS worker/supervisor, I knew many of the common fears of being a foster parent, and I would be lying if I said that my husband and I didn't share many of those fears.
However, I also knew that many of the children's fears outweigh any fears that we as foster parents can have.
I keep my focus on the fact that these children need someone to love them and give them consistent structure, routine, and stability.
When I first met my child....
We've had three different placements, but I'll stick to discussing the three kiddos we adopted. When we first met our three children, we were so nervous. They walked in carrying a few bags of their personal belongings, but they didn't have a lot. They were shy, but they were all very sweet and nice. They took to our animals immediately. We had just gone from not being parents to having three children that we were now responsible for. It was scary and surreal. However, we all adjusted, and now we can't imagine our lives without them.
The children started to hug us and feel more comfortable being in our home. They knew that we would be there for them no matter what.
I remember our oldest daughter told our case worker at the time that she was shocked that we were going to attend her choir performance. I think then we all knew that being a family means we sacrifice time and other things for each other.
It's a little hectic. Each child has doctors' appointments, therapy appointments, sports activities, etc. We face challenges such as our children not calling us mom or dad, but we know that they already had a mom and dad prior to them coming to live with us. We try to focus on the fact that they refer to us as their parents or mom or dad when talking with friends or other people.
They know that we are their family.
We have a lot of tears and heartache, but we also have a lot of fun and love. None of our children were infants when they came to us. I feel like people think if they can't foster/adopt a baby that they miss out on a lot of "firsts". However, we've had so many "firsts" with our children, like their first time going to a movie theater, their first time going to the beach, their first time eating a meal together as a family, their first time playing sports, etc. All of these moments we have with our children are impacting their lives for a lifetime, and that is true for the children that we have fostered and have been reunified with their families. We made a positive impact on their lives, and that's why we foster.