Tips for Talking to Your Young Teen about Relationships
When parents talk with their kids about healthy relationships, they help protect them from unhealthy dynamics and dating violence. Middle school is the perfect time to start these conversations. Even as young teens begin leaning more on peers, they are still listening closely to what parents say. Below are 10 tips to guide you.
1. Keep the Conversation Ongoing
Talk about healthy relationships as an ongoing process, not a one-time chat. Encourage open, honest, and thoughtful reflection. Let your teen share their values and expectations and allow debate rather than dismissing answers as “wrong.”
2. Teach, Don’t Just Criticize
Balance sensitivity with firmness. Respect differences of opinion, but stay strong enough to make unpopular decisions when necessary. Remember: your role is to teach and guide, not just to correct.
3. Understand Teen Development
Adolescence is a time of experimentation and rapid brain development. From mood swings to risk-taking, these changes can feel confusing. Learning what’s “normal” helps you guide your teen with patience and perspective.
4. Recognize Pressures and Risks
Teens face growing pressures around sex, substance use, and peer acceptance. Listen to their concerns and offer problem-solving strategies. Aim for a reduce-harm approach rather than unrealistic zero tolerance.
5. Take a Stand Against Abuse
Send a clear message: disrespect, abusive language, and violence are unacceptable. Emphasize the importance of respect, equality, and kindness in all relationships.
6. Use Teachable Moments
Everyday life provides opportunities to talk—whether through TV shows, movies, news, or stories about friends. Use these natural openings to discuss what makes relationships healthy or unhealthy.
7. Teach Healthy Bystander Skills
Encourage your teen to be an upstander—someone who speaks up or supports peers who are experiencing unhealthy behavior. Teach them how to step in safely or seek help.
8. Highlight the Positive
Conversations about relationships don’t need to be all warnings. Talk about the joyful side—relationships that are fun, supportive, and build confidence.
9. Stay Involved
Be an active participant in your teen’s world. Encourage extracurriculars, spend time together, and get to know their friends. Shared activities strengthen trust and communication.
10. Accept Imperfection
There is no perfect formula for parenting teens. You may make mistakes—but maintaining a balance of sensitivity and guidance gives your child the best chance to make healthy, responsible choices.