Tips for Talking to Teens about Dating and Relationships

If you are a parent to a blossoming teen, consider discussing these crucial aspects of relationships with your child before they enter a relationship:

1. Define a healthy relationship

Teach your teen about the foundations of a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship comes from respect, mutual understanding, trust, honesty, communication, and support. A good partner accepts you as you are, supports your personal choices, and celebrates your achievements. Both partners should maintain outside interests and friendships and respect one another’s personal boundaries.

2. Describe the different types of abuse and associated warning signs

Help your teen recognize the different forms of abuse: physical, emotional, sexual, financial, and digital abuse, as well as stalking.

  • Physical abuse: hitting, kicking, pushing, biting, choking, or use of weapons.

  • Emotional abuse: insults, humiliation, manipulation, intimidation, isolation, or control through fear and guilt.

  • Sexual abuse: pressuring or forcing sexual activity, restricting access to protection, or taking away the ability to make safe choices.

  • Financial abuse: controlling money or material resources as a means of power.

  • Digital abuse: harassment, bullying, or manipulation through texting, social media, or technology.

  • Stalking: persistent following, monitoring, or unwanted attention that may be misinterpreted as affection.

3. Explain the differences between lust, infatuation, and love

Infatuation can feel exciting and intense, but love grows over time and is built on trust, respect, and shared values. Help your teen understand the difference between short-term attraction and lasting emotional connection.

4. Talk realistically about sex

Although it may feel uncomfortable, it’s best for your teen to hear accurate, responsible information from you rather than peers. Make the discussion two-sided—listen to their views, answer questions, and be honest about responsibilities, values, and risks.

5. Set expectations and boundaries

Let your teen know your expectations for safe, respectful relationships. Offer support by providing transportation, listening when needed, and being available for questions or guidance.

6. Offer your support

Remind your teen that you are available as a trusted resource. A supportive, open approach helps build confidence and makes it more likely that your teen will come to you with concerns.

7. Encourage clear communication

Encourage your teen to communicate openly with partners and friends. Stress that a respectful relationship includes listening, honesty, and understanding the importance of boundaries.

8. Be respectful

Respect your teen’s individuality, opinions, and beliefs. By modeling respect in your conversations, you set an example of how they should treat others.

9. Know when to ask for outside help

If conversations become difficult or your teen is experiencing unhealthy relationship patterns, outside help may be beneficial. Family therapists, school counselors, and community programs can provide additional guidance and support.

Helpful Resources

communicationRebecca White