Teen Sexual Assault: Information for Parents

What Is Sexual Assault?

Sexual assault is any sexual contact that a person does not freely agree to—also called “consent.” Consent means freely choosing to participate without pressure, threats, or manipulation. If someone forces or pressures your teen into sexual activity, it is assault, even if it does not involve intercourse. Assault can include any unwanted touching of private body parts (breasts, genitals, buttocks) or other forced sexual activity.

When the perpetrator is a family member, the term “sexual abuse” is often used.

What is consent?

Consent is an agreement to engage in sexual activity. For it to be valid, it must be:

  • Freely given — not pressured, manipulated, or forced.

  • Clear — communicated through words or actions that show mutual agreement.

  • Ongoing — it can be withdrawn at any time.

By law, minors cannot consent to sexual activity with adults. Consent also cannot be given if someone is intoxicated, drugged, asleep, or unconscious.

What is Coercion?

Coercion is when someone pressures or manipulates another person into sexual activity. Examples include:

  • Threats: “If you don’t, I’ll break up with you.”

  • Guilt or manipulation: “I thought you loved me.”

  • Power imbalance: Using popularity, age, or authority to pressure someone.

If your teen feels pressured to do something sexual or fears consequences for saying “no,” it may be coercion.

Teen Dating Violence and Sexual Assault

Sexual assault can occur within dating relationships or outside of them—with a classmate, acquaintance, or even a stranger. Dating violence may include:

  • Sexual violence — unwanted sexual activity, coercion, or assault.

  • Physical violence — hitting, pushing, or other harm.

  • Emotional abuse — insults, humiliation, or controlling behavior.

  • Digital abuse — constant texting, threats online, or sharing explicit images without consent.

Why do teen sexual assault and teen dating violence happen?

Individuals who perpetrate sexual assault and/or dating violence may have a variety of problems, but the core cause of these events is the perpetrator’s misuse of power and control. This can take many forms, including using physical force or by threatening, intimidating, manipulating, stalking, or isolating your teen from friends or other supports.

Why Does Teen Sexual Assault Happen?

At its core, sexual assault is about power and control, not attraction or desire. Perpetrators may use intimidation, threats, manipulation, or isolation to overpower a teen.

Who Experiences Teen Sexual Assault?

Any teen—regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or identity—can experience sexual assault. In most cases, the perpetrator is someone the teen knows and trusts, not a stranger.

How Common Is Teen Sexual Assault?

According to recent surveys:

  • 1 in 9 girls and 1 in 36 boys under age 18 experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult.

  • Nearly 1 in 12 high school students experienced sexual dating violence in the past year (CDC, YRBS 2021).

The Role of Drugs and Alcohol

Alcohol and drugs are often used to facilitate sexual assault. Some substances—sometimes called “date rape drugs”—can be slipped into drinks without detection, making it impossible for a teen to consent. Effects may include drowsiness, confusion, blackouts, and memory loss.

Talk with your teen about:

  • Pouring their own drinks and keeping them in sight.

  • Never accepting drinks from strangers.

  • Calling for help immediately if they feel unsafe.

Online Risks

Technology can be misused to pressure or exploit teens. Risks include:

  • Predators posing online as peers.

  • Partners demanding explicit photos or sharing them without consent.

  • Harassment through constant texting or threats.

Encourage your teen to be cautious online and to come to you if they ever feel unsafe.

How Parents Can Help Keep Teens Safe

You play a powerful role in prevention. Here’s what you can do:

  • Talk openly and often. Teens are more likely to delay sexual activity when parents have honest conversations with them.

  • Teach boundaries. Encourage your teen to set limits in relationships and respect others’ limits.

  • Model healthy relationships. Show what respect and equality look like.

  • Discuss party safety. Teach strategies like sticking with friends, having a backup ride, and trusting instincts.

  • Reinforce consent. Remind your teen they can always change their mind. Being drunk or high never makes it their fault if someone assaults them.

Warning Signs a Teen May Have Been Assaulted

  • Sudden changes in behavior or grades.

  • Avoiding certain people or places.

  • Withdrawal from friends or activities.

  • Anxiety, depression, nightmares, or mood swings.

  • Unexplained injuries.

If you notice these signs, gently check in with your teen and offer support.

If Your Teen Is Sexually Assaulted

Your teen may feel guilt, shame, anger, fear, or confusion. Remind them:

  • It is not their fault. Clothing, behavior, or being intoxicated never excuse assault.

  • They are not alone. Many teens have experienced this, and help is available.

  • Healing is possible. Counseling, peer support, and family support can help.

Avoid blaming questions like “Why didn’t you fight back?” Instead, listen, believe them, and connect them with professional help.

Where to Find Help

If your teen is in immediate danger, call 911.

Rebecca White